xan-chan

Okay, nothing has changed, I am still deeply disappointed with life and myself but as the good Dr. Robertson said, "Baby girl, you gotta get up now and start again." That is what I am going to do. I even made a new account, ~XanSketchPad (https://www.deviantart.com/xansketchpad). I am not leaving this one, the new one is something... different. I got into playing a game called Improbable Island and I made the new art account to go with it. It will feature "Sketches"... usually digitally done on Muro since my husband bought me all the brushes. Also, most of my journals there will be written from the point of view of the character, not myself. Yes, the character is based primarily

I am learning a lesson, I am just a useless talentless person, a faceless entity among billions and billions. I can't even get a doctor to care about me and I am paying them to care. The bleeding issue still exists, getting worse not better, I am violently ill day after day, and I lost all my interest in anything. I have been forcing myself to try and do art or my writing and it's pointless. Everything is just pointless. I don't even want to eat or be intimate with my husband, I just curl up on the bed and cry. I can't even sleep because there is too many nightmares. I hate this, I hate me... who am I writing this to? I don't know, no one I g

As the title says, I am feeling moody. I have lost all my inspiration for writing and art, thus why I rarely come here anymore. I want to be able to post but until I find my smile again, that will be a tall order. May I make a small request? Can you guys either sent me some points... I want to eventually have more tools on Muro, or draw me something? It doesn't have to be a world class work of art, just anything. Thanks anyways.